Newest New Addition

            Great. Just what I need. Another slobbering, fat, nipping monster running around, tearing up the place. The last biting scars just healed...time for new ones. I've been kicked, chewed on, drooled on, and peed on like I was nothing and I am not doing it again. I'm gonna write a letter.
Dear Mr. President,
            I am requesting an immediate relocation of a savage beast that is destroying my life. Please. You do not understand what it feels like to get peed on...at least I don't think. Send help ASAP.
Save me from this: